First, say to yourself you’re a good person. Say it again. And believe it. Breath deeply.
Now, dial 1-800-COMCAST and in everything you think and say in the next 15 minutes must be as conniving and sophistic as you can possibly manage.
Follow these few easy tips, and you’ll be rolling in dough. We all know the GEICO commercial: “Save 15% or more in 15 minutes by switching to GEICO!” Well, if you call up Comcast and negotiate a lower rate of service, you can save big bucks. I just saved me and my roommate $480 over the next year with a 55 minute phonecall. That’s slightly more than a payrate of $480 an hour of work… for anyone who’s counting.
1. Have evidence. Measure your internet speed at speedtest.net. Compare this number with the service you are paying for. In DC, Comcast offers 8mb “regular” internet or 16mb “boost!” internet. If you are getting less than the advertised rate (and you can get a tech at Comcast to note it in your file) then you have good ammunition for getting a better deal.
2. Blame the recession. Times are tough, money’s tight. I just don’t know if I can still afford Digital Cable with DVR and a sports package AND such expensive internet that’s not even getting the advertised rate. Remember to ask for discounts on each of the services you have at Comcast. Just looking for an internet discount, I also asked about what better offer could the company make me for digital cable. Another $20/month saved.
3. Threaten to cancel or worse yet, switch to Verizon. Remember, these sales folks run on scripts and are evaluated based on how well they stick to those scripts, how much they can upsell you on things you don’t need, and how well they do at retaining customers. You’ve got to push all their buttons. You don’t need to be a dick about it, but just mention that you happened to have noticed the other day when these burly men dressed in Verizon uniforms were unspooling thick cabling into a hole in front of your apartment. “Maybe I should just give them a call and see what they’ll offer me?”
4. Call every three months for better deals. You will be offered “courtesy” plans that are good for 3-,6-, or 12-months. I asked how often new promotions are brought about and I was told every three months and new offers had just been hauled out in December. I’ll be calling back in March to get a better offer.
That’s all. Happy conniving!
why dont you call for us and save us some money on our charter bill… :D